Do I? - By Thomasina Kundalini, The Muse

3-18-04 4 weeks and 4 days since i last saw you –

Do i read? do i write? do i draw?
i don’t know
Multi tasking
an organic body
is far more difficult
than a computer.
They are predictable
understandable
learnable.

Getting married in 2 weeks
fuck
what the fuck?
i have been directed.
Put myself up to the universe
and it’s made itself clear.

it all feels quite perfect for me
not in the fairytale way
in an inexplicable way.
The voice in my head
has never been clearer
The movement – never so fluid.
Its easy
easier than i had ever dreamed
i let go.

i have so much
to say
to give
to do
to be
you’re perfect for me-
for now-
this time-
this space
an intermittent lover
whom i love dearly
be it any way it can
BE
That’s all
That’s everything.

My soul lover
it’s been a long time
death shall not part us
as it never has.

“There is nothing outside this room...” you said,
“there is only you and me.”
Could it have been anything else?
Could there ever be another string of letters or words
which could affect me so?
I think, no.

All my life i have asked for signs
and signals
and any indication
of my divine path.
Well, “Howdy Dooty!!”
here it fucking is.
shit.
U think i’m not scared?

My pen catches only the wake
of my thoughts.
the train goes on
and on and on and on -
my thoughts

There is a dog outside
that wont quit barking.
They need to let him in.

Tears of sadness
tears of glee
2 things that can’t come separately.

My, i feel you.
I Do.

- By Thomasina Kundalini