ALIENS IN VEGAS

My (hot) friend Kat and i just returned from Vegas. We went with the intention of finding aliens there. The adventure was different than anticipated.
On our second night we decided to hunt up some underground bars. My experiences with aliens have usually occurred during ethereal states so I was somewhat skeptical of finding them that night on the town; Vegas is a very frontal lobe play ground. I should have realized that the aliens were in control all along.
When the cab picked us up we had forgotten the directions and our phones at the hotel. Neither of us could remember the address. The cab driver was obviously annoyed by our guessing. He was so irritated in fact, that i said “drop us off right here.” It was a relatively random corner, but i knew we were close. After the HUGE hassle of finding an Internet terminal that worked, it ended up we were only a few blocks a way. It figures, i thought.
Next thing i know were traipsing through a dimly lit gay bar into a tiny backroom hosting one of Las Vegas’s only Goth theme nights. There were all of about 12 people there.
The two of us stuck out as much as Kat’s bright magenta dreads do in a library. We were obviously from out of town.
I took refuge at the bar, and Kat on the dance floor. The bartender, formerly from MN, tried his hardest to knock us into oblivion with a drink called an “Adios Mother Fucker.” In retrospect, I would have to say it was at least the portal to our encounter.
The bar was closing and about 5 people remained. From seemingly nowhere, i found myself talking to a leprechaun. He sported some sort of straight-off-the-set-of-the-Monkees side kick who was quickly closing in on Kat. What is this??? I wondered. A miniature, Risky Business -Tom Cruise, wearing all green and some crazy aviator shades. Little green men.... I hadn’t figured it out. From here it gets a little fuzzy. That bar closed and I thought we went our separate ways.
Kat and i went to the Double Down, a bar where you can buy puke insurance for $20. It was punk and full of graffiti, but i managed to step up next to beautiful, black, drag, in a full sequin gown with nails and hair to boot! “Wow! You look great!” i said as we got on the subject of drag...and of course, it turns out to be an alumnus of the Gay 90’s. I don’t believe in coincidence.
I look to the back of the bar and who is Kat shooting pool with? Yes, the little green man. I was unaware and nearing the netherworld with some new shot that this bartender specialized in. The name of the shot was as arbitrary as the booze he put into it. Kat kicked our collective butts in pool, and we all went off our separate ways. Kat managed to get my drunken ass back to the hotel, order breakfast and watch a movie. I woke up fully dressed several hours later on the couch, having passed out before the food ever came.
A few days later we hit the Gaming Convention and Fun Expo in the Las Vegas convention center. Thousands of people, thousands of booths, and who do we run into? Yes, the little green man and friend, although he’s not in green this time.
We decide it would be fun to hang out again, and resolve to meet them at the MGM later that night. We waited and waited, and just as we were about to give up, a giant super ball hits cat on the foot and rolls a few feet. No one else has noticed. We look around...nothing. I was starting to figure it out. I pick up the ball and start bouncing it. “They’ll come” i said, “just wait.” Sure enough, they rounded the bend. This time they brought shades for everyone.
We danced most of the night and decided to hit another bar. The tickets were at our hotel room. We invited the guys with while we picked them up. We ended up spending hours there. They were awesome, and there was no sex involved, just pictures.
Yes...they got Kat and I in the bathtub together, but it was more of an outrageous Austin Powers shoot in obnoxiously fake fur coats. We were Rock Stars...we ARE rock stars. From the stars, all of us, and in Vegas, we just met the Kindred. ARE YOU ONE?